I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
