Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
