yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
