some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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