I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
