I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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