We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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