I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
