ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
