You can't motorboat a personality
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
