WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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