I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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