It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize