Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
