scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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