End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
