good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
