Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
