make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
