he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
