I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
