forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
