best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
