everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize