I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
