Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize