so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
