i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
