Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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