we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
