I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
