Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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