I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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