If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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