we have officially lost it.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
