I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
