I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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