he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
