She is in my trunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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