i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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