meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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