Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
