I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hippo gnu deer
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
