What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
