Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize