you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
