She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
