i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
MIDGETS
????
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize