Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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