everyone is single if you try hard enough
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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