when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
