I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
