can u get pink eye on your cock?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize