If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
