I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
