True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
In America we eat man semen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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