he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize