Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
only you would photoshop your dick
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
