Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
