from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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