Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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